[Assam] assam Digest, Vol 57, Issue 27
dhroovajit at yahoo.com
Wed Apr 28 13:50:28 IST 2010
‘The Brief History of India’ is a masterpiece. Babul Gogoi
ought to introduce the wrier, the Standard X student, to the world. It is
difficult to accept the wrong spellings and derivatives, as any genuine
mistake. To me and I believe to most of the readers, the concocted words in the
piece would appeal as brilliant satire. Thank you Gogoi for a refreshing spell
of wit and humour.
--- On Wed, 28/4/10, assam-request at assamnet.org <assam-request at assamnet.org> wrote:
From: assam-request at assamnet.org <assam-request at assamnet.org>
Subject: assam Digest, Vol 57, Issue 27
To: assam at assamnet.org
Date: Wednesday, 28 April, 2010, 12:00 PM
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1. Re: BambooRail Net-- and it worked for 30+ years. (Chan Mahanta)
2. One of our huge problems is GREED (mc mahant)
3. A BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIA ! (Babul Gogoi)
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 07:19:39 -0500
From: Chan Mahanta <cmahanta at gmail.com>
To: A Mailing list for people interested in Assam from around the
world <assam at assamnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Assam] BambooRail Net-- and it worked for 30+ years.
Message-ID: <166286D7-C2EA-4991-892D-69945E5A795A at gmail.com>
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But where is the bamboo :-)?
On Apr 26, 2010, at 9:52 PM, mc mahant wrote:
> The amazing world in sharp snaps
> assam mailing list
> assam at assamnet.org
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 07:15:22 +0530
From: mc mahant <mikemahant at hotmail.com>
To: assam assamnet <assam at assamnet.org>
Subject: [Assam] One of our huge problems is GREED
Message-ID: <COL124-W63334D205C458B0810ABD9DA020 at phx.gbl>
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Catch the latest in the world of fashion
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 09:52:11 +0530
From: Babul Gogoi <bgogoi at gmail.com>
To: assamnet <assam at assamnet.org>
Subject: [Assam] A BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIA !
<j2s880b6ca81004272122v43af96e8y55213b5e8f8daa69 at mail.gmail.com>
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A BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIA !
A Brief BUT Complete History of India : As written by a Std X schoolboy,
with all the original spellings. Please pay special attention to the
spellings and the "derived" nomenclature. If you dont know all this -- you
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in
two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao. These cities had the best
drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.
Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to
father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology,
which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in
olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called the
Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves
in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because
they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their
capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the
The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the
battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace
loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came
Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that
time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there.
The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they
started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent
to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after
that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it.
They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan.
After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was
circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They
brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed
railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries,
pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex
who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.
Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much
diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They
were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India
and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted
toproduce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this
moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to
wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the
production of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the
father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named
because the British were quietly lootaoing our country. In 1947, India
became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our
population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are
allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our
constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be
hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if
you have not paid your taxis.
Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed.
This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written
on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower
and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided
against itself cannot withstand.
So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British
were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in
Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.
Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. it
can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all
over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given
anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which
is a small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to
buy a gun which can shoot a coot.
Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left,
right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that
there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself..
India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are
being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at
Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty,
pollution and population.
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End of assam Digest, Vol 57, Issue 27
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