[Assam] An open letter to the Prime Minister

[kamal deka]

I offer my unconditional apology for whipping up a controversy that
was uncalled for.I put out the piece in the Net just to give a funny
touch.I can assure  all of you---the letter writer did not aim to
cause deep hurt to any one, even though the letter seems to contain a
semblance of unspoken truth.After all,many a truth  are said in
jest--sometimes of course.
KJD

On Tue, Aug 10, 2010 at 9:29 PM, Chan Mahanta <cmahanta at gmail.com> wrote:
> There is nothing amusing about this mindless piece of tripe.  Should our letter writer
> have had the desire or the wherewithal to inquire about the REASONS why everyone
> wants a state of his own, then he would not have had the reason to write this piece.
> Furthermore, HAD the editorial ranks of the rag had any clue about it themselves,
> they would not have found it worthy to publish it.
>
> Last but not the least, I am terribly surprised that you Kamal, being one of the rare few
> amongst us who has the ability to analyze things enough and the integrity ( even if only
> every now and then), to acknowledge the real reasons for the state of affairs in India,
> found this piece worthy enough to circulate as something meaningful or noteworthy.
>
> cm
>
>
>
>
>
> On Aug 10, 2010, at 7:07 PM, kamal deka wrote:
> e
>> In response to ABSU's recent demand for a separate Bodoland,An
>> Assamese kharkhowa,inhabitant of Baksa district,wrote a letter
>> addressed to the PM demanding a separate state for himself.Read and
>> enjoy.
>> KJD
>>
>>
>>
>> Dear Mr Prime Minister,
>>
>> I am 30 years old, fat, educated and I want my own state. To achieve
>> this objective I have decided to proceed on a fast immediately...
>> after my next " masor tenga meal", that is. (Considering my body mass index and
>> fondness for trans fats, I have deemed this the most apt way to
>> protest.)
>>
>>
>> I now intend to break bread only after my 2-bedroom flat in Baksa
>> district,the heartland of Bodos, is
>> declared a state. The state will be known as Kalita Pradesh and its
>> capital will be Kalita nagar -- which is what I will name my living
>> room. The official language will be heavily accented English spoken
>> with a lisp.
>>
>>
>> I have decided to go in for this drastic move after discrimination
>> against me based on my language, appearance, superior intellect and
>> personal hygiene. I request you to consider my case vis-a-vis ABSU's
>> demand for a state exclusively for the Bodos.
>>
>>
>> My state abounds in man-made and (cow-made) resources, including
>> manure from my potted plants and state-of-the-art sanitary fittings.  I
>> intend to stand for CM and am confident that the residents -- my wife,
>> my dog and the affectionate house mosquitoes  -- will cast their vote
>> in my favour.
>>
>>
>> Mr Prime Minster, I appeal to you to consider my case at the earliest.
>> After Bodoland,Kalita Pradesh would become India's 30th state (if
>> Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Harit Pradesh etc don't beat me to it).
>> Thirty is such a nice, round number, don't you think? Since you are
>> handing states around, why not add one more?
>>
>>
>> While we are at it, let me bring to your notice that my pan-wala, my
>> dhobi and a rather irritable bull who sleeps on the middle of a
>> neighbouring road, all want their own states. They all allege
>> discrimination and are all threatening to go on fast.
>>
>>
>> I appeal to you sir, let's break up this beautiful state,known as
>> Assam since time immemorial, at the earliest.
>> Words like unity has  slipped into obsolescence. Why learn from the West.
>> We don't care about Germany uniting or half of Europe becoming
>> European Union. After all, we are the smartest race in the world. Let's
>> have a new slogan: Be a Bodo,Kalita or Ahom first and break Assam into pieces.
>> Sincerely,
>> Biplob Kalita.
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>
>
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