[Assam] An open letter to the Prime Minister

[henry narzary]

its a very cheap joke. this forum requires more matured handling....




________________________________
From: kamal deka <kjit.deka at gmail.com>
To: A Mailing list for people interested in Assam from around the world 
<assam at assamnet.org>
Sent: Wed, 11 August, 2010 5:37:44 AM
Subject: [Assam] An open letter to the Prime Minister

In response to ABSU's recent demand for a separate Bodoland,An
Assamese kharkhowa,inhabitant of Baksa district,wrote a letter
addressed to the PM demanding a separate state for himself.Read and
enjoy.
KJD



Dear Mr Prime Minister,

I am 30 years old, fat, educated and I want my own state. To achieve
this objective I have decided to proceed on a fast immediately...
after my next " masor tenga meal", that is. (Considering my body mass index and
fondness for trans fats, I have deemed this the most apt way to
protest.)


I now intend to break bread only after my 2-bedroom flat in Baksa
district,the heartland of Bodos, is
declared a state. The state will be known as Kalita Pradesh and its
capital will be Kalita nagar -- which is what I will name my living
room. The official language will be heavily accented English spoken
with a lisp.


I have decided to go in for this drastic move after discrimination
against me based on my language, appearance, superior intellect and
personal hygiene. I request you to consider my case vis-a-vis ABSU's
demand for a state exclusively for the Bodos.


My state abounds in man-made and (cow-made) resources, including
manure from my potted plants and state-of-the-art sanitary fittings.  I
intend to stand for CM and am confident that the residents -- my wife,
my dog and the affectionate house mosquitoes  -- will cast their vote
in my favour.


Mr Prime Minster, I appeal to you to consider my case at the earliest.
After Bodoland,Kalita Pradesh would become India's 30th state (if
Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Harit Pradesh etc don't beat me to it).
Thirty is such a nice, round number, don't you think? Since you are
handing states around, why not add one more?


While we are at it, let me bring to your notice that my pan-wala, my
dhobi and a rather irritable bull who sleeps on the middle of a
neighbouring road, all want their own states. They all allege
discrimination and are all threatening to go on fast.


I appeal to you sir, let's break up this beautiful state,known as
Assam since time immemorial, at the earliest.
Words like unity has  slipped into obsolescence. Why learn from the West.
We don't care about Germany uniting or half of Europe becoming
European Union. After all, we are the smartest race in the world. Let's
have a new slogan: Be a Bodo,Kalita or Ahom first and break Assam into pieces.
Sincerely,
Biplob Kalita.

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